Home Improvement
by SpaztasticWolf
Summary: AU Summer has arrived and so has the need to fix the house. It can't be that hard...can it?... Complete crack-fic meant to be nothing but humor.
1. Prolouge

Authors Note: Hello people! So, this idea might seem kind of crazy and out there (let's face it, it is…), but I hope you still enjoy it! Where did this idea come from? Randomly staring out the car window actually _. It started off as a "that would be funny if…" moment and, with help from my friend, developed into this jumble of mishaps. So, without further delay, here is Home Improvement!

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of its characters. Let's just be thankful for that…

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Miroku did not hate summer, but he did not overly enjoy it either. For one, it was hot, too hot at sometimes. Now, while this presented him with an excellent opportunity to ogle girls in bikinis (more particularly Sango) it also meant that, due to the high temperatures, Sango did not want to cuddle as much in an effort to cool off. Call him depraved if you will, but this was a major set back for him, considering his past lecherous history.

By the end of July, Miroku would find he _really _did not like summer after all. It had all started with the decision to do a little fixing up of the house and earn a few brownie points with the wife (which he would cash in quickly and eagerly.) He had only wanted to make everyone a bit happier and the summer more enjoyable by bettering the Houshi residence. It had all been started with good intentions.

Miroku had begun by announcing his decision to Sango one evening around bed time and had earned a wide smile and a "that would be wonderful. The house could use some fixing up." When she offered to help he had immediately turned her down saying he would just call Inuyasha, adding on that Kagome could even come when she wanted and spend time with Sango while Inuyasha and he "did what men do." Sango had laughed, but still been a bit uncertain.

"We really shouldn't have to bother Kagome and Inuyasha…they have their son now to deal with too." Sango had reminded him.

Miroku quickly came up with another reason Kagome and Inuyasha could come mere seconds after Sango had put in her own comment.

"The children could play together." He had said soothingly, taking her hand in his, "You know how much the kids like little Hiro. I bet they would be overjoyed to have another playmate."

That had done it. Sango's gaze had softened at the thought of her children happier and she had consented with a self-reassuring "I bet they would like another playmate." It was at this point Miroku has grinned lecherously and suggested they could give them another _permanent_ child to play with, sliding one hand around her waist and then a little lower.

In the face of hundred degree weather, Miroku had found himself with the threat to sleep on the couch. He went to sleep pouting.

The next day he had called Inuyasha and plans had been made. Inuyasha would come and help him repair the house and, perhaps, better it further, while Kagome and Hiro spent time with Sango and the kids. It was really the thought of a happy Kagome and son that had convinced Inuyasha in the end (his first answer had been "And why would I come and work my ass off for you, bouzu?") A week later Inuyasha, Kagome, and Hiro arrived, and the work began.

It had all started as a little home improvement. Or that had been the plan.

-

So it begins…

What did you think so far? I'm going to try to get chapters out fast, if people like this (YOU CAN DO IT ME! JUST…WRITE!!! Kitty: Yeah… good luck with that… -_-)

Please review ^_^


	2. A Not So Good Omen

Authors Note: Inuyasha and Miroku are in for a great time…. Bwhahahahaha…. _… so…uh… onwards!

Kitty: …Help me…

Disclaimer: Never have, never will.

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Chapter One: A Not So Good Omen

"I can't believe you dragged me into this…"

Miroku felt a throbbing pain beginning to form just above his right eye. He took a deep breath and counted to ten before turning to face Inuyasha. He would not yell. It would do him no good. And chances where he would just cause a rock fall or something in this tiny little space he had crawled into.

"You volunteered; I did not drag you into this." Miroku replied irritably. He was not one to get annoyed quickly, instead rather calm and collect most of the time, but patience only went so far… Especially if one is in a tight, musty space and has been listening to one's friend repeat virtually the same thing over and over again for the past hour or so.

"And it's not so bad." Miroku continued, "Besides, I thought you wouldn't mind getting your hands a little dirty."

Inuyasha growled at Miroku and raised a wrench menacingly, waving it as he spoke.

"I _don't_ mind it! I just don't like being ordered around and being forced to fix your crap!"

Miroku sighed and turned back to a pipe he had been tightening. "Once again, I didn't force you, you volunteered and, well…" Miroku glanced over at Inuyasha out of the corner of his eye, "This is sort of _my_ house…"

Inuyasha's response was his typical "keh!" and to pick a spider off his shoulder, which he immediately flung in Mirokus direction.

Miroku closed his eyes as dust and a bit off sawdust fell from above as someone crossed the floor above them, adding to the steadily growing pile present on his skull. Inuyasha's ears flattened slightly and he gave Miroku a look that gave him the impression Inuyasha was considering going up there and exempting anyone from using the hallway. Glancing over at his friend again Miroku had to stifle a snicker. Inuyasha's ears were folded back, his white hair a dull, dusty grey from the dirt and other debris. There was a streak of dirt stretching from the left side of Inuyasha's forehead down to his chin and he wore a frustrated look as he attempted to fix a pipeline. His white shirt was all but ruined by mud and dirt. The snicker quickly died down as Miroku considered two things: one, Inuyasha still had that wrench, and two, he probably didn't look any better.

"_I'm sure Kagome and Sango will absolutely love what we've done to our clothes…"_ Miroku thought dryly, "'_You wouldn't mind washing these for me? I mean, how hard can mud stains be to get out?"_

Miroku shook his head, either at the situation or the possibly impending doom he wasn't quite sure. He had just finished tightening a loose connector piece and had moved over to help Inuyasha when he felt it, a wet, cold something hit his arm and trailed down it. An involuntary shiver ran rand down Miroku's spine and he looked up, looking for the source. Another drop hit him on the tip of the nose and Miroku could see a small bit of water forming at a crack in a pipe.

"Er Inuyasha..?" Miroku said as yet another droplet of the ice cold water hit him.

"What?!" Snapped the hanyou, glaring at the other man.

"I think we have a leak…"

~*~*~*~

The laughter of children filled the ground floor of the house as Hiro was chased up and down the hall and through the rooms by two energetic twins, while their younger brother watched in quite awe from their mother's arms.

"Can't catch me!" Hiro shouted back at the two girls as he tore down through the kitchen. And can I tell you, that kid was pretty fast for a two year old! The simple run-and-catch method was getting the twins absolutely no where. Sure, they may be two years older than the kid, and therefore bigger, but like I said, he was like a rebellious teenager on a long stretch of strait road when no cops were looking; fast and furious. So it was time for a new strategy.

Taking a leaf out of Shippou's book, he happened to visit from time to time and each time he was mercilessly glomped by two little girls and begged for new tricks to show them, they decided to use a strategy they could utilize fairly well, there being two of them and all. Divide and Conquer. It made it easier, having a home field advantage. So, splitting apart, one girl went one way and the other went in the opposite direction. If they couldn't catch the Tasmanian Devil, they would just have to trap him.

When Hiro next looked back he was foolish enough to think he had lost them somewhere in the weaving in and out of furniture and mothers' legs. He grinned from ear to ear in his victory, his cheeks lighting up in glee. It was short lived. As he rounded the next corner into the living room he was greeted with an unwelcome sight.

"Mizu! I got 'im!"

Ah fiddle sticks… (A/N: Inuyasha has apparently been watching his mouth. Good Inu-chan!)

"He's not getting' away Nezumi!" The other girl cried to her twin.

Hiro looked back and forth frantically as Sango and Kagome watched on in amusement from their place on the couch. The twins ran forward, Hiro searched frantically for an exit (deciding right then and there he did not like the table in front of him one bit), and misfortune began to rear its ugly head.

Mizu and Nezumi lept at Hiro, triumphant looks on their faces as a look of horror spread across Hiro's own. It was quite comical really. Or it was. Ever heard the phrase it's all fun and game until someone gets hurt?

The twins had leapt with just a bit too much energy and excitement to carry them and, being four, hadn't realized their mistakes. Hiro, being two, stood there stupidly. The result? The sound of skull hitting skull followed by three thuds and lots of screaming. Sango and Kagome were on their feet in an instant, trying to sooth the crying children and solve the problem simultaneously. The twins were crying. Hiro was crying. And, just because it seemed like it was the current group activity, Sango and Miroku's little son, was crying.

"Shhh, it's okay, it was just a little bump." Kagome cooed to her son, taking him in her arms and stroking his hair.

"Th-they c-cwashed into me-meeee!" Hiro cried, pointing an accusatory finger at the two wailing girls. Sango gave Kagome an apologetic look.

"It was just an accident, they didn't mean to." Kagome said soothingly.

"M-mommy, my h-head hurts!" Nezumi sobbed, rubbing at her smarting forehead.

"M-mine t-to!" Chimed in her sister.

"Now, it will be okay." Sango comforted, while trying to quite her son at the same time, "Do you want me to get you some ice?"

The twins both nodded simultaneously, sniffling and rubbing at their eyes in an attempt to stop the flood of tears.

"Okay." Sango said in a motherly tone as she stood up, "I'll be right back. It will be alright."

Moving quickly into the kitchen she pulled open the freezer and grabbed an ice tray. Popping out some ice cubes with one hand and balancing her still sniffling son on her hip with the other, she prepared some ice packs using some towels. Somehow managing to pick up all three ice packs _and_ carry her son, she returned to the slowly calming children and distributed them. All three toddlers grabbed them and pressed them to their foreheads, looking slightly happier, but still put-out.

"Mommy, will Mizu an' Nezumee be awight?" Asked a teary eyed son from Sango's arms.

"Yes, Kichi, they'll be fine." Sango said smiling down at her son.

"An' Hiro too?" Kichi asked.

"And Hiro too." Kagome replied smiling as well.

After a while the children settled down and even began to give watery laughs over the whole situation that had landed them with the ice packs in the first place. They were well on their way to forgetting such incidents and, chances were, going right back to what they had been doing.

"Kagome-chan, can you keep an eye on Kichi and the twins for a moment?" Sango asked.

"Sure." Kagome replied, blinking, "What's up?"

"Oh nothing I just want to go refill the ice tray in case they're…er…needed again." Sango said, standing up.

Looks of motherly worry shot between them and Kagome nodded.

"Go refill them, I'll watch them for a sec."

Sango nodded and returned to the kitchen. Picking up the empty ice tray, she took it to the sink and turned the faucet to cold. The water gushed out and made quick work of refilling the empty tray. Sango was able to quickly place it back in the freezer and return to the living room. She missed the muffled shouts of shock and the proceeding cursing from below.

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Chapter one complete! So how was it? Good, bad, iffy, annoying, hilarious, or maybe something not covered so far? I want to know so just drop a review if you so feel inclined :D.

Inuyasha and Miroku are in for sooo many more problems... I have an imagination and I know how to use it! If you, the dear readers, would like to see a certain home improvement task being undertaken by these two poor fellows, just let me know and I'll see what I can do -walks of cackling maniacally-

Thanks for reading! -heart-


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